


Divided, Not Conquered

by WHRoseGarden (JoAryn)



Category: JAG
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-22
Updated: 2012-10-22
Packaged: 2017-11-16 20:16:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/543407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JoAryn/pseuds/WHRoseGarden
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'I do' doesn't equal 'happily ever after.'</p>
            </blockquote>





	Divided, Not Conquered

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I wish I owned them – no, actually, I don't. I think DPB is doing just fine with them   
> himself, and I'm not crazy enough to think I could do better. I'm not getting any money (friends, maybe,   
> but no money) from this so please don't take my computer away.
> 
> Author's note: I had a couple other ideas for this story (a semi-disastrous date before the one actually   
> featured in the story; a possible NC-17 ending, post restaurant), but I lost interest and never really   
> wrote them out to see how they worked. So if this story doesn't sound quite complete, that's probably   
> why. 
> 
> AN2: This story was originally written during the 6th season, I believe, but I've made some minor updates to   
> reflect events that happened after that point (such as number and names of Bud and Harriet's kids).   
> One thing I did not change is the identity of Sturgis' date; I really liked Bobbi Latham so I didn't   
> replace her with Varese. 
> 
> AN3: Also, many thanks to Melly for doing beta work on this. 
> 
> AN4: Oh, and by the way, this has nothing to do with Eden's Survivors.

Title: Divided, Not Conquered  
Author: WHRoseGarden  
Rating: K+  
Category: S/R (M/H)  
Summary: 'I do' doesn't equal 'happily ever after.'

Disclaimer: I wish I owned them – no, actually, I don't. I think DPB is doing just fine with them   
himself, and I'm not crazy enough to think I could do better. I'm not getting any money (friends, maybe,   
but no money) from this so please don't take my computer away.

Author's note: I had a couple other ideas for this story (a semi-disastrous date before the one actually   
featured in the story; a possible NC-17 ending, post restaurant), but I lost interest and never really   
wrote them out to see how they worked. So if this story doesn't sound quite complete, that's probably   
why. 

AN2: This story was originally written during the 6th season, I believe, but I've made some minor updates to   
reflect events that happened after that point (such as number and names of Bud and Harriet's kids).   
One thing I did not change is the identity of Sturgis' date; I really liked Bobbi Latham so I didn't   
replace her with Varese. 

AN3: Also, many thanks to Melly for doing beta work on this. 

AN4: Oh, and by the way, this has nothing to do with Eden's Survivors.

 

Divided, Not Conquered

1613 Zulu  
JAG headquarters  
Falls Church, VA

Captain Harmon Rabb, Jr. frowned nervously as he rode the elevator up to JAG Ops. It had been   
nearly four months since he'd last visited his old post. It had never been this uncomfortable before.   
Of course, that was partially his fault; he'd avoided coming by, giving errands that necessitated   
visits to the Judge Advocate General's headquarters to his staff rather than attending to   
them himself as he had in the past. He wouldn't have come this time except that business and protocol   
dictated his presence.

He wondered what new faces he'd see, which old faces would be gone. On his previous trips, he'd   
known the answers before he'd ever stepped foot in the building – Mac had kept him informed on the   
comings and goings of the staff: Coates' departure for OCS and similar occurrences. Ten years and he   
still thought of her as 'Mac.' That was probably an indication of why he was in this situation now.   
Normal couples called each other by their first names, certainly after three years of marriage. 

As the elevator slid open, he straightened and smoothed his expression to a properly impassive   
professional demeanor. A brunette petty officer he did not recognize waited with her arms full of   
files. She came to attention as she saw him and he muttered, "As you were," as he passed, heading into   
the bullpen. He stared straight ahead, avoiding looking at Mac's office except to note that she was   
in.

An unfamiliar voice had called, "Attention on deck!" as he entered. Yet another new person he   
didn't recognize. He waved the personnel back to work and sighed as he approached Petty Officer Alex   
Perry's desk. Since Coates' departure eighteen months ago, PO Perry had been the Admiral's yeoman.   
The young man smiled up at him as he stopped at the desk. 

"Hello, Captain Rabb. You can go right in; he's expecting you."

"Thank you, Perry." The petty officer grinned brightly as he stepped past.

Harm gave a perfunctory knock before entering Admiral Chegwidden's office. He stopped in front of   
the desk and braced to attention. 

"At ease, Captain." Chegwidden smiled slightly. "Have a seat." Harm nodded and sat. "It's   
been a while since you graced us with your presence, Captain."

"Yes it has, sir." Harm wasn't sure what to say, or what the Admiral's mood was. He didn't know   
what, if anything, Mac had shared with the office. "I've been rather busy, sir, and I found that   
delegating errands to my staff gave me valuable time to work."

The Admiral glanced at him and twitched his eyebrows a little, a look that Harm knew meant that   
the Admiral suspected he wasn't getting the whole story. Chegwidden looked back down at his desk.   
"Well then, I don't want to infringe on your valuable time, Captain. These are the documents that   
required your presence. " Harm caught the slight slur directed at him and winced inwardly. The Admiral   
passed a thick stack of folders across the desk. "Due to their sensitive nature, I wanted to put them   
directly into you're hands. I'm sure you understand." He gave Harm a hard look.

"Yes, sir." Harm carefully placed the stack into his briefcase and locked it. "Will that be all,   
Admiral?" He knew Chegwidden suspected that something was up, and he really didn't want to have to   
try to explain. 

The Admiral nodded and Harm once again came to attention, then executed an about face to leave. His   
step was stalled by the Admiral's voice. "Rabb . . ." He reluctantly turned back. "You're certain your   
abstinence isn't related to why the Colonel is the first one in every morning and the last one out every   
night?"

Harm hesitated, but finally answered. "We, uh . . . We've split, sir." The look of surprise on the   
Admiral's face showed that he'd suspected trouble, but not to this extent. For a moment, he looked about   
ready to explode. Harm braced himself, but instead he heard a sigh.

"How long?" 

"About four months, sir." Harm blinked discreetly, banishing the dampness gathering in his   
eyes. He'd let the tears flow freely enough in the evening, at the Wall, and as he tried to sleep.

"What the hell is going on, Captain?" Chegwidden's tone was one that Harm knew well -- the   
one that threatened serious repercussions if he didn't get a good answer.

"Honestly, I'm not entirely sure, sir. We haven't spoken to each other since the last week of   
August."

"It's almost Christmas, Rabb," Chegwidden growled, using the same tone he often used with Webb   
when the CIA agent had managed to put his people in the line of fire again.

"Yes, sir, I know." Harm glanced down at his wedding band. His eyes were grief stricken when he   
looked up again. "I miss her, sir."

@>\---\\---,-----

AJ stared at the younger man. In the ten years he'd known him, he'd only seen Harm like this   
twice. The first time was when the Robert's baby Sarah had died, five years before. The second was two   
years ago, when a destroyer that Mac and Bud were handling an investigation on was attacked and Mac had   
been initially listed among the casualties.

Harmon Rabb and Sarah MacKenzie were like children to him. Only a little older than his real   
daughter, Francesca, he hated to see either suffer. He'd seen the torture they'd experienced for   
almost seven years before they admitted their feelings to one another. He'd witnessed Harm's   
silently borne pain during Mac's engagement and near marriage to Brumby. He'd seen the light fade in   
Mac's eyes when Harm had gone back to flying. He knew that both officers were proud, stubborn   
individuals and that this situation was not likely to resolve itself without intervention. He glanced at   
the clock.

"Captain, I'm going to take an early lunch. Would you care to join me?"

Harm nodded. "Certainly, sir." He'd often regarded Admiral Chegwidden as a father figure and a   
friend; he could certainly use the advice of both.

"As soon as we're off Navy property, I'm AJ or Admiral. Or you'll be up on a DDO. Is that clear?" 

"Yes, sir!" Harm responded, snapping to attention. AJ, however, could see the smile he was   
struggling to withhold.

 

1615 Zulu  
JAG Headquarters  
Falls Church, Virginia

Colonel Sarah MacKenzie-Rabb watched her husband enter the bullpen, not even glancing at her   
office. Her heart clenched tightly at the sight of him. She'd missed him terribly over the past three   
months, two weeks, three days and 16 hours. Well, maybe not the entire time, just three months, two   
weeks, three days and 15 hours of it. She could hardly believe it had been that long. It was   
physically painful to see him so close and know he was still so far away. 

Squeezing her eyes shut to dissuade her chronic tears, she heard his voice in her head, "Watch   
it Marine, you'll give the Corps a bad name." It only made it harder to hold them in. Giving up for   
the moment, she reached for the tissues at the corner of her desk and dabbed her eyes dry. She   
tossed the tissue into her wastebasket and opened the top right drawer of her desk. There, beneath a   
blank legal tablet, lay a framed picture.

She'd kept it even after she'd removed all the other pictures of them from her office. It was too   
painful to look at them all day, too tempting to just stare at them and remember. Work had been her   
only comfort in the last months; it occupied her mind and allowed her to forget, if only temporarily.   
The rest of the office was terrified of opposing her in court lately, because she had no mercy, venting   
her frustrations through the law. She was much more impressive than Harm had ever been.

Now she looked down at the single photo, a candid shot taken last Christmas by Harriet at the   
Roberts' Christmas party. It was she and Harm, captured under the mistletoe. He'd made a big deal of   
'having' to kiss her (jokingly, of course) and proceeded to dip her nearly to the floor before giving   
her a proper and loving kiss. They were both grinning and laughing in the photo, her expression a   
little surprised, caught in mid-dip. Gently, she kissed her fingers and then pressed them to the   
image. The glass was already smudged from months of the same, but she didn't care. She didn't dare   
wash it.

"Ma'am?" Harriet's voice startled her, and she nearly slammed the drawer on her hand. 

"Yes, Harriet?" She forced a smile as she addressed the younger woman. Behind her, she saw Harm   
and the Admiral exiting the office. As they exited the bullpen and Harm still refused to even   
glance her way, her already tenuous smile faltered. Harriet followed her gaze and turned to   
regard the two superior officers.

"Ma'am, is everything alright? I don't mean to pry, but you and Harm haven't been over to visit the   
kids in ages. This is the first time he's come to JAG in three months." Harriet's usually smiling   
face was taut with concern for her friends.

Mac didn't answer right away. Although she'd known she couldn't hide it forever, as the days had   
stretched in to weeks, she'd thought maybe no one dared ask. It had seemed so obvious to her – Harm had   
visited at least twice a week when she wasn't away on a case and he wasn't completely bogged down. Until   
today, no one had said anything.

"Ma'am?" Harriet tried again. She was on the verge of breaking rank and calling her 'Mac' when the   
marine finally focused on her again.

"Harriet, would you like to go to lunch?" If her abrupt question surprised the lieutenant, it   
didn't show. 

"Certainly, ma'am. I just need to let Bud know where I'm going." Mac nodded.

"I'm going to finish this file, so ten minutes?" Harriet agreed and left to tell her husband   
that she would be going to lunch with the Colonel.

 

1633 Zulu  
JAG Headquarters  
Falls Church, VA

Sturgis was confused. Harm had come by and left with the Admiral, making no contact with Mac. What was the   
man thinking? When Sturgis had arrived at headquarters almost five years ago, Harm was coming   
back from a plane crash and Mac was TDY. Then, of course, he'd heard how Harm's plane had gone down   
while he was trying to return for Mac's wedding. He'd seen their communication problems up close,   
ending up as the confessional for both about their feelings. 

It had certainly taken long enough for them to get together, even after Mac admitted she was in love with   
Harm. The aggravation those two had put the office through -- well, the other staff should have   
received hazard pay. Sturgis had been relieved they'd finally gotten together and had been proud to   
be a groomsmen in the wedding. 

But now something was up, and he didn't like it. He'd been away from HQ for most of the last several months   
on various assignments, but he was still a friend, and not just Harm's. He'd managed to build a solid   
relationship with Mac as well, especially when they were partnered after Harm's transfer to the   
Pentagon. He just hoped someone would come back so he could ask what the hell was going on.

 

1657 Zulu  
Macri's Deli  
Falls Church, Virginia

After ordering sandwiches at the counter, Mac and Harriet seated themselves at a small table near   
the back exit. Looking down at her hands, Mac toyed with her wedding band and engagement ring. She   
knew she'd have to talk to Harriet at some point, but she wanted to avoid that moment for as long as   
possible. If she could hold off until the food arrived, the conversation would be postponed until   
after lunch.

"Ma'am, you remember when we lost baby Sarah?" Mac nodded without looking up. "I didn't   
want to talk about it then because it was too painful. I just wanted to forget. Bud and I weren't   
even talking because it hurt too much, and we thought if we let ourselves cry we'd never stop. But   
you and Harm got us to talk. And gradually it got less painful, and we could move on with our lives.   
Now, you need to talk, and I'm here to listen." Mac managed a small smile as she looked at Harriet for   
the first time since they'd entered the restaurant. 

"I know, Harriet. And I really appreciate it. It's just . . . I thought it would last   
forever. After how long it took us to finally get there, I didn't think anything could tear us apart."   
Mac paused and looked at Harriet again. Harriet was sitting quietly, but her expression was shocked,   
and not a little confused. Mac realized that Harriet really had no idea what she was talking about.

"Ha . . . Harm and I, we had a fight in August. We haven't spoken since then. He's been   
staying at Jack Keeter's apartment." Her voice was barely above a whisper, and she blinked rapidly,   
fighting the tears. She heard a soft gasp from Harriet and glanced up at her friend. 

Harriet's face was now more shocked than confused, and tears were brimming in her blue eyes.   
"Oh, ma'am . . ." Harriet trailed off, not knowing what to say. They sat for several minutes in silence   
as their sandwiches were served, and they began to eat. Or at least try to. 

"What happened, ma'am?" 

"I don't know. I was out of town on an investigation. The day I was due back, Jingo was hit   
by a car. Harm had the vet put him to sleep. I guess I was in a pretty bad mood from the case and the   
flight back. When Harm told me, I blew up at him, blaming him for letting Jingo get in the street and   
for telling the vet to go ahead without asking me. I – I told him to leave. He didn't want to and   
tried to reason with me, but I wasn't listening. I was so angry that I hadn't gotten to say goodbye.   
We just started screaming at each other and in the end, he left.

"I don't even remember what we said, but we were both hurt and angry. Just after Harm left, the   
Admiral called and ordered me out on an emergency investigation. When I got back, Harm had taken most   
of his clothes and his personal items."

Harriet stared back at her, shocked. "How do you know where he's staying?"

"I asked. I didn't think he'd stay that long in a hotel, and I knew he wouldn't stay with anyone   
from JAG. Keeter was the only person I could think of, so I called him on the Patrick Henry, and he   
confirmed that Harm had called and asked if he could stay at his place for a while. He tried to tell   
me that Harm was sorry, but I didn't want to hear it at the time, and I hung up on him.

"I was going to call Harm, intending to apologize. I didn't get a chance. Harriet, he thinks   
I went back to Mic." Her voiced cracked, and tears began streaming down her face unchecked.

@>\---\\---,-----

Harriet was very confused. She could understand the initial argument; she and Bud had had   
more than a few rows of their own. After that she got confused. Why had Harm taken all his stuff from   
their apartment, and where had he gotten the idea that Mac had gone to Brumby? All she knew was that   
her superior officer, a Marine Colonel and one of the strongest people she'd ever met, was sitting   
across the table, crying as her heart broke. It broke Harriet's heart just to watch. 

"Ma'am – Mac, please, I don't understand. How could he think you'd go back to Commander Brumby?   
Isn't he in Australia?"

Mac shook her head, not looking up. "I don't know what happened – Mic is back in town, with his own   
law firm. But I don't know why Harm would ever think I'd turn back to him!" Her words dissolved into   
sobs. "I love him, Harriet, more than I ever thought possible."

"Oh, Mac, I know you do. I've watched you for so long, ever since your first investigation on the   
Seahawk. Sometimes I didn't know how you could stand it, watching each other date other people. I   
just about gave up when you accepted Commander Brumby's ring, and I thought for sure that Harm and   
Ms. Peterson would follow you to the altar." 

"Maybe we aren't meant to be together, Harriet. Maybe that's why we keep driving each other   
away." Harriet looked at Mac in alarm. The older woman looked lost and haunted, a terror unimaginable   
to Harriet in her eyes. 

"No, Mac, you and Harm are meant to be together. Everyone else had seen it for years, and   
you two finally saw it, too. Don't doubt that. I've never seen two people more made for each other."   
Harriet seized Mac's hands, crushing them between hers. 

"Harriet . . ." Mac sighed, exhausted both in her emotions and her body. She took several deep   
breaths. "I know, Harriet. But sometimes it feels like the whole world is against Harm and I being   
together."

"Don't you think it felt the same way to Bud and I sometimes? I mean, we barely managed to even go   
on a first date. If it hadn't been for you and Harm at the NATO ball, we might never have. And then   
it seemed like we fought so much that we'd kill each other before we got to the altar."

"But you did, and now you have AJ and little Jimmy and the twins."

"And so did you and Harm. And someday, your children will be running the Navy and the Marine Corps   
just like their parents." Harriet was happy to see a smile flirt with the edges of Mac's lips. 

"I just don't know, Harriet. I've never had anything hurt this bad. I haven't been sleeping well;   
I barely manage to eat." Mac glanced down at her half-eaten sandwich. It was the first really   
substantial thing she'd had all day, and she still wasn't hungry. Harm's chin would have hit the floor   
to hear that she wasn't hungry, and she couldn't help but smile at the thought. But, it also reminded   
her that she might never hear him tease her again and tears fell anew. Over-ruling her stomach, she   
forced down several more bites.

Harriet regarded her friend, deeply concerned. On a close inspection, she recognized well   
concealed dark smudges beneath Mac's pain-filled eyes and a drawn quality about her features. Add that   
the Colonel, well known for her healthy appetite, had just indicated that she hadn't been eating (the   
lack of appetite further evidenced by the half-eaten sandwich on her plate), and Harriet felt   
justified in worrying for her friend's health. As well, she was distressed to see the tears return to   
her friend's face. She wondered if there was anything she could do. Her thoughts were interrupted   
by Mac announcing that they had to get moving if they wanted to be back at JAG on time. 

 

1707 Zulu  
La Rosa Italian Ristorante   
Falls Church, Virginia

Harm felt his former commanding officer's eyes on him, but he didn't look up. He couldn't face the   
recriminations he knew he'd find there. He'd recounted the painful last four months and wished he   
could sink into the floor. He couldn't believe how stupid he'd been.

The worst part had been a couple days after the fight when he'd been dining alone at McMurphey's.   
He'd been trying to call and apologize, but only got the machine. When he'd returned home the night of   
the fight she wasn't there, and she wasn't answering her cell-phone, either. While he was sitting   
at the bar, hoping rather unrealistically that she'd stop by, he'd heard a voice that was more   
familiar than he liked and looked up. Sure enough, Michael James Brumby was seated at a nearby   
booth with a few 'mates.' Mic had returned to Australia shortly after the aborted wedding, and that   
was the last Harm had heard. It appeared Mac's one-time fiancee was back, and not just for a visit.

Harm had just about succeeded in tuning out the boisterous Australian when he heard him mention   
'Sarah.' It was his own damn fault, he supposed, for jumping to conclusions. After all, Sarah was a   
fairly common name. But hearing the familiar way Brumby pronounced it brought back all the horrid   
memories and regrets from two of the worst years in his and Mac's life until now. He'd dropped the   
cash for his drink on the bar and walked out. And then proceeded to make even more of an ass of himself   
by calling Mac and leaving an irate message on the machine. 

It was a week later that he'd run into Brumby again, this time escorted by an attractive woman with   
long brown hair and gray eyes. Mic had introduced her as his wife, Sarah Gibbons. It turned out he'd   
known her from when he was much younger and run into her again during his return to Australia. 

@>\---\\---,-----

AJ was not too terribly surprised to hear about the events following the initial fight.   
MacKenzie and Rabb had always been two of the most passionate and stubborn individuals he'd ever met.   
He'd been familiar with their insecurities as their CO, and he had known that they wouldn't   
miraculously disappear with the marriage. He also noted the time frame when Mac had been sent on   
back-to-back assignments and wondered if her caseload hadn't added stress to the situation.

"She wasn't avoiding you. She was in Camp LeJeune, on investigation. A second lieutenant straight out of   
ROTC was crying assault, and the accused was due to ship out to Iraq in a week. She was doing her   
duty."

Harm hung his head, miserable. As Chegwidden had assumed, he'd thought she didn't want to see him. Two   
days after the night at McMurphey's, he'd returned to the apartment to pack his clothes and some personal   
items. He'd checked out of the hotel he'd been staying at to crash at Keeter's, who was still helping   
the CIA by flying jets in places he probably shouldn't. 

"AJ, I just . . . I wish I could make the last few months go away. I love Mac." 

"I know you do. And Mac loves you." Now that he thought about it, aside from her extended work hours,   
there had been other signs that AJ thought he should have picked up on; she smiled less and kept to   
herself, even when Harriet brought little AJ and Kat to the office, and he thought she might have lost   
some weight. 

"I'm terrified that she won't forgive me, that she'll want me out of her life forever. That she'll ask for   
a divorce." 

"Harm, she's a lawyer, surrounded by lawyers. If she wanted a divorce, she'd have asked for it by now. I   
rather suspect that she's as miserable as you are and doesn't know how to approach you. Did you ever   
correct the assumption about Brumby?" 

"Ye -- I told you I met him a few days later . . ."

"No, did you call Mac and apologize? She probably still thinks you think she went to Brumby."

"I -- no. I don't know what to say to her."

"Tell her the truth. You've known each other for over ten years; she knows you're human."

"God, I hope so."

@>\---\\---,-----

1801 Zulu  
JAG Headquarters  
Falls Church, VA

Chegwidden noted that Mac was in her office when he returned from lunch. He regretted that he hadn't been   
able to convince Harm to come back with him, but the office really wasn't the place for the talk those   
two needed to have. Nodding to himself, he asked Perry to summon Harriet and Turner. 

As soon as they appeared, he could tell Harriet knew. "Sit down, Captain, Lieutenant." He looked away for a   
few moments, wondering exactly how to start, but was saved when Harriet spoke up.

"Sir, uh, permission to speak freely?" He nodded his permission. "Sir, I'm worried about the Colonel.   
Apparently she and Captain Rabb had a fight, and they haven't been talking . . ." He noticed the agog   
expression on Sturgis' face at this disclosure. 

"Yes, Harm relayed much the same information. I'm assuming that Mac isn't on the verge of drawing up   
papers?"

"No, sir! She's terrified that he will."

"Pretty much the same with Harm. So both of them want to resolve this . . ." He trailed off, considering.

"Excuse me, sir? How long have they been apart?" Sturgis' absence had left him considerably out of the   
loop. 

"Since August, Captain." Sturgis gave a low whistle. "The question for us is how to get them back   
together." Chegwidden was pleased to note that Turner did not balk. He'd been instrumental in their   
original coming together and still appeared to maintain a strong friendship with both.

"But they're scared of being rejected. Sir." Harriet put in.

"They were petrified three years ago, but they finally made it to the altar. Lieutenant, make reservations   
for two at La Lune. Captain, I'm going to convince Mr. Rabb to invite his wife on a date. It's   
your job to make sure she accepts." They shared a conspiratorial smile before Chegwidden dismissed his   
junior officers.

 

2226 Zulu  
Rabbs' Apartment  
North of Union Station

Harm wasn't sure how the Admiral had talked him into this or how he'd known that Mac would accept, but it   
was a bit late to turn back. All he had to do was knock, and he would be closer to Mac than he'd been in   
four months with the disastrous exception of last night. He felt giddy thinking about it, wanting to   
take the action that would bring them face-to-face but uncertain that she would open the door. He raised   
his hand and knocked.

Inside, a breath left Mac in a rush as she heard his knock. He'd come. Although he'd made the date, she   
hadn't been sure he'd actually show up. It had taken a miracle of persuasion on Sturgis' part to   
convince her to accept this date after last night had ended so miserably. Smoothing her dress over her   
abdomen, she opened the door. He looked like heaven, and for several moments she couldn't find   
words.

Harm stared at her, drinking up the vision she presented. Belatedly, he held up the flowers he'd   
brought, a small arrangement of her favorite roses. Her smile washed all doubts from his mind, and   
he stepped forward. Their arms wrapped around each other, and she inhaled his scent, letting the   
peace of his presence wash over her. He buried his nose in her hair, and he was lost in the   
sensations he'd missed.

"I've missed you, Marine." Mac smiled into his chest at his whispered words. 

"Me, too, Sailor." She added her own whispered sentiments. Then she stepped back, claiming the   
proffered bouquet. As much as she'd missed him, the situation had changed, even if he didn't know it   
yet. She felt compelled to test his dedication. 

"I'll put these in water, and then we can go." He followed her to the kitchen area and leaned on the   
island. He knew something was up; four months hadn't decreased his awareness of Mac's moods. She   
was worried about something, hesitant. 

"Mac . . ." He hesitated, unsure of her trust. "I'm sorry I accused you of turning to Brumby." She didn't   
look at him, or say anything. "He's married now, a woman he knew from Australia." At her continued   
silence, he knew he was going to have to explain. He swallowed before he spoke again. "Mac, her name's   
Sarah. I overheard him at McMurphy's, and I couldn't get a hold of you. I'm so sorry."

She turned, one eyebrow raised. "Mic's married?" Harm nodded. "I'm glad." She turned away again to   
put the flowers on the coffee table. Harm's brow furrowed. He opened his mouth to speak, wondering   
what he could say. Mac's voice stalled his own.

"You know, I'd been thinking about having Jingo put down. His arthritis was taking more and more   
medicine. I was going to make an appointment when I got back. I just . . . I wanted to be there - to   
say goodbye. I'd almost come to terms with it. And then suddenly he was gone, and I hadn't said   
goodbye." She finally turned to face him, and he saw the tears trailing down her cheeks. He quickly   
closed the distance and enfolded her in a hug. 

"I'm so sorry, Sarah. I didn't know . . ." He gently stroked her hair, feeling the damp of her tears soak   
into his jacket. Gently, he rocked back and forth, soothing her.

"I know. I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I know you loved him too." She couldn't remember a time when   
Harm hadn't been able to make her feel safe just by holding her. She'd needed this four months ago,   
but they'd both been jet-setting all over the world. In fact, the day of their fight had been their   
first day together at home in weeks, though they'd managed to catch a few hours when a layover had united   
them briefly at Ramstein AFB in Germany. He'd been there on a security briefing, and she was heading   
for Bahrain. 

"It was a crazy time." 

"Remember when we met in Germany?" He grinned. Chegwidden had delayed Harm's departure until the next   
day, allowing him to surprise Mac (for the good of morale, ostensibly). After a quick meal, they'd   
headed for the VOQ.

"How could I not? It was amazing." She pulled back and smiled up at him, her tears dried. Just then her   
stomach rumbled, and Harm laughed. 

"I guess we better get going, can't let you starve." He turned to get her coat and missed the slight falter   
in her smile. As he helped her into her coat, she leaned up and kissed him softly.

"This is the first time I've really been hungry since the fight." Harm's eyes opened wide, and alarm   
clouded his features. He immediately pulled her into another hug, whispering apologies into her hair.   
She relaxed into his embrace, feeling his strength. "It's ok, we'll be ok." 

"Come on, let's get you fed." They smiled together and headed out.

@>\---\\---,-----

0113 Zulu  
Celtic Lion  
NW, Washington, D.C. 

Sturgis and Bobbi just happened to be on their own date at the Celtic Lion when Harm and Mac arrived.   
Sturgis breathed a sigh of relief as he saw them walk in together. Although Mac looked somewhat   
preoccupied, they were both smiling and holding hands. Definitely a good sign, he decided. However,   
his observation of Harm and Mac had distracted him from Bobbi. But, as he'd filled her in on their   
friends' troubles, she saw who had his attention and forgave him.

"How long did you say it was?"

"Four months, I believe. Sometime in August." Bobbi nodded sagely, regarding the couple. She never really   
been 'friends' with either but knew Sturgis held them in high regard. She put that from her mind as   
she decided that it was time for Sturgis to listen to her. Her current campaign had been stressing their   
own relationship as she traveled out of D.C. frequently. 

Harm and Mac, for their part, were oblivious to their friends' surveillance. Harm had vetoed La Luna for  
the more casual atmosphere of the Celtic Lion, feeling that the more intimate restaurant might have been   
to high-pressure. Fortunately, things seemed to be going well so far. After long months, they   
couldn't keep their eyes off one another, frequently stealing glimpses over their menus. Even   
when their orders had been taken and their drinks delivered, they sat, gazing at one another. Harm   
reached over the table and clasped her hands in his. He squeezed slightly, and she returned the   
caress. They didn't move until the food had arrived. 

They kept the subject light through dinner, but, as the waiter cleared their dishes, their individual   
fears and concerns returned, and the silence was tense. 

Harm closed his eyes and sighed, knowing that one of them had to make a move. Hearing the strands of a   
Celtic fiddle set to a slow ballad, he made a decision. "Dance with me?" He stood and extended his   
hand. He was inwardly relieved when she took it, glad that she hadn't left him standing there. 

There was no dance floor, just the cramped spaces between tables, but Harm didn't care. He pulled Mac   
into his embrace, and they swayed with the music. An idea struck him, and he leaned his head down to   
whisper in her ear. "Marry me."

Mac lifted her head but didn't pull back from his embrace. "I already did." She smiled serenely up at   
him, enjoying being in his arms after the long drought. 

"Marry me again. I love you, Mac. I can't lose you." His cheek was pressed against her hair, his   
breath caressing her ear, and his arms held her tenderly. She smiled beatifically.

"Yes." She laid her head on his chest once more, listening to his steady heartbeat, knowing that his   
wonderful grin had taken up residence on his face. She felt as safe, secure and loved in his arms   
as she ever had. Her private doubts faded in the face of the love she felt from him. "Harm?" Her eyes   
glanced up, and her knowledge was confirmed. 

"Yeah, Mac?"

"I love you, Daddy." He stopped moving and looked down at her, his eyes wide with amazement and begging   
confirmation. She nodded. "I'm pregnant." He swung her up off the floor, turning, and nearly sent   
another diner's chair flying. However, all the patrons in the restaurant were watching the couple   
indulgently, so it was likely that there would have been no hard feelings. As their lips met,   
applause broke out, along with some good-natured jeers. 

THE END


End file.
